So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize