Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
