Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
