Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
