That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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