Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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