I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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