I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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