I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Mom said you looked used
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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