I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize