so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
