i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
