apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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