Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
