Porn is love you can see.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
