butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fuck appropriateness.
it was like eating out sand paper
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
