waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
