My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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