I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so let's talk penis.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
