just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
