you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I need moral support for this bender
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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