it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's official drugs can't kill me
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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