He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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