hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
