I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
