She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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