she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
