At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
