Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
