Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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