If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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