he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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