420 ftw
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
