If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
