Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
