ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
