I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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