is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
