the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
