sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
