So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
