I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
