Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
