Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
