Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
