"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This is the high leading the old right now
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
