yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
