It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
