True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
