i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
