I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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