I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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