I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How naked do you want me to be?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
