this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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