so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
