I'm drive I can fine osifer
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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