ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
