You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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