Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's shark week go big or go home
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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