this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
