All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
