My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize