Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
