i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
